dirtypandapodcast

Well, it's the last episode of the Dirty Panda Podcast for awhile now. I moved to Arizona to start a band with some very talented musicians and I'll probably be here for awhile, but Ted and I are trying to figure out a way to do some stuff using something called "video chat technology". Yeah, you've probably never heard of it; we only discovered it recently and that's because we're science/doctor types and we need to know these things in order to save lives. It's not that we want to know; it's a necessity, a responsibility bestowed upon us. It's actually quite a hassle, to have the power to give or take a life. Sometimes the stress gets to us and we have to remind each other why we became science doctors in the first place. You wouldn't believe how easy it is to kill a person with a few over-the-counter drugs and a shotgun. The knowledge itself is a burden that very few people in the world can handle, and sometimes we begin to doubt ourselves and question whether or not we are one of those special few. It's a stressful life, but we do it every day because we truly believe that tomorrow is a day worth fighting for.

01 Opening

02 Haircuts

03 Hands

04 Shaving

05 Going To a Break

06 Dirty News - Israeli Prime Minister

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Well, what do you know? We've reached our 11th episode. It's the beginning of a new chapter for the Dirty Panda Podcast. This time around, Ted and I were joined by our good friend Jonn, who stopped by and told the funniest, raunchiest and most offensive joke ever. We also introduced a new segment called "He's A Professional", an improv game where the guest and I humor Ted, who falsely believes that he's a professional of a certain field. The opening song is a clip from Glitch Core Ocean: "My Dead Relative Franklin".

01 X-Men, Power Rangers, and Ninja Turtles

02 Dirty Panda News - Python Talk

03 Jonn's Hilarious Joke

04 Deputy Dead Eye

05 Immunity Of The Homeless

06 He's A Professional - Zookeeper

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Ted and I carried on this week to create our tenth episode, with our special guest Ricky. It's a fairly disgusting show, but we had a lot of fun making it. We can only hope you're open-minded enough to understand our humor. Seeing as how some people aren't as reliable as we hoped, our original plans for the Dirty Panda podcasts' intended format are currently undergoing revisions. The opening song is a clip from "Dance Compilation: Funky Sheriff" by The Sillesh.

01 Intro

02 Dirty Panda News

03 Air Conditioned Coffins

04 Sick Stranded Whale

05 Grandpa's Bean Bag

06 Ted Daniel Ass Wash

07 Ted Daniel Skeetles

EXTRA - Baby Arm

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The three-legged stool that is Dirty Panda was one leg short, but since the stool has a low center of gravity (and the strongest of wood), we were able to waddle around the stage, entertaining the audience that watched as the weight shifted and we attempted to keep standing. It was like watching a one-legged man hop across a tight-rope while balancing a vase full of boiling hot grease on his head. Does he fall?! You'll have to listen... and find out that he doesn't. The opening song is a clip from "I Am A Robot" by The Sillesh.

01 Dirty Panda News

02 Justin Bieber's Babydick

03 Dell Mind Computer

04 Paint A Scene

We experienced some technical difficulties at the end, so the last segment's quality is slightly compromised.

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Back to the original format, Ted and I started things off with a music clip from the Dirty Panda studio band "The Cock" and elaborated on headlines. Naturally we joked about homeless people, Hitler, drugs, babies and Michael J. Fox as Spider-Man. We also developed some improv games after the show for us to try out with our next guest such as "Paint A Scene", "He's A Professional" and "Trading Two-Man Skit". Enjoy :3

01 Why People Are Homeless

02 Hitler Paints!

03 Baby Fears

04 Why Are You Cops Pulling Me Over

05 Star Trek Is Boring

06 Michael J. Fox as Spider-Guy

Each segment is downloadable. And of course, if you want to share some feedback, leave a comment or send an email to askus@dirtypandafilms.com

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This episode is the biggest, longest and most outrageous one we've ever created. I play a tune I wrote for Nathan and Ted about the "Ted Daniel Rocket Pen", Ted's roommates have a little get-together outside our "studio", Nathan goes on an outrageous tangent selling retarded products, a hopeless alcoholic named Chris rudely interrupts our show, a disoriented Ted wanders out of the the room while our friend Meghan randomly fills in for him, we are obviously drinking, and as usual... we joke about Spider-Man, dicks, porn, corpses, drugs, and fat people. There are so many dick jokes in this thing; I'm not sure I can keep count. Nathan and Ted had to share a mic, but we didn't lose much quality at all. In fact, this may be the best sounding podcast we've done so far.

I've put "check points" next to the name of each segment in case you'd like to skip around. There's also links to download each segment separately. I'm thinking of introducing some new features to the show next week as well, so stay tuned!

01 Ted Daniel Rocket Pen - 0:00

02 Dirty Panda Spider-Man - 3:41

03 John Lennon Airport - 13:05

04 Billy Mays, Pickle Fingers, and Balloons - 16:03

05 Giant 13 Year-Old Boy Suffocates While Watching TV Show About Himself - 20:21

06 It's Stranger Than Fiction! 33:59

07 Birth Of 'The Prodigy' - 38:18

08 Dick Humor Galore! - 46:56

Oh! Feel free to send us some interesting stories or questions for us to address on the show: askus@dirtypandafilms.com

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August 7th 2010: Nathan made it! This was one of the most enjoyable podcasts we've done so far. In fact, we ended up with too much material. Once we got comfortable, the podcast got off track and we ended up brainstorming on numerous ideas for videos and animations. Near the end, Ted was inspired to draw some pictures and reached for a pen, inspiring our future award-winning commercial: Ted Daniel Rocket Pen. Oh, we also decided to order some pizza, so you may hear us making sexy chewing sounds:

00 Opening

01 Eating Delicious Missionary

02 Fable: The Most Innovative Video Game EVER

03 David Blaine

04 Gorilla Erection Study

05 Epic Jamaican Statue

06 Ted Daniel Rocket Pen

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If you want to share any interesting stories with us or send in some questions for us to answer on the show, send us an email to: askus@dirtypandafilms.com

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August 1st 2010: Yet again we had some scheduling conflicts, so Nathan couldn't join us. I made sure to grab some sweet stories this time around so we could bring you a full episode. Be sure to check this site later this week because we'll have links to the Dirty Panda website with pictures of 'freaks' and celebrities we talked about. Here's the tracklist for this week:

01 Opening

02 Werewolf Boy And The Big Head

03 Career Advice For The Hairy Kid

04 Tree Man

05 Celebrity Look-Alikes

http://img839.imageshack.us/img839/8555/werewolfboy.jpg
http://img839.imageshack.us/img839/4808/treeman2.jpg
http://img716.imageshack.us/img716/4810/treeman3.jpg

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July 25th 2010, Ted and I were expecting Nathan to join us for the podcast, but he had car troubles and had to re-schedule for next week. So we ended up doing a very loose show, ending it much earlier than usual.

01 An Unusual Eulogy

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July 18th 2010, our guest this week was Joey. Yet again, the quality is lacking because I forgot to bring an extra mic, but the weird buzzing sound in the background eventually goes away after a minute or so. This was actually more of a proper podcast; not only is there a lame attempt at an intro, but we also didn't stray off-topic as much as we usually do. I'm not sure if that's a good thing. Here's the tracklist:

01 Living In A Car

02 Artistic Urinals

03 Steve's Double-Infected Butt

04 Spunky Coffee

05 Joey's Cop Story

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